just friends?

Let's start with a little conversation I had with 'someone' and myself. I'll set the scene; a week ago, I was dumped without any reason whatsoever, so yes, I felt like crap, and didn't care about anything. New years eve, i got a phonecall from the 'dumper' explaining himself - I hung up- needless to say, I wasn't letting him ruin my new year. New years day, all I could think about was him. And finally this morning, the msn conversation;

"You alright?" - I'm sorry, is that just me? Or is that a stupid question?
"Yeah, you?",
"Yeah, I'm alright," - I hate the awkward pauses after that how are you's.
"Nikki, are we ok?"
"What do you mean?"
"Like do you hate me?" - yes.
"No"
"Just friends?" - no, i still love you...
"Definitely :)"

I hate not saying what i really mean... just to avoid an argument or disappointment. I hate that fact that him and I are just friends - I don't want to be just friends.

I hate and love him at the same time.

fml.